Media shock as women sunbathe

TV presenter Ulrika Johnson posted a photo of herself sunbathing naked, replicating Kendall Jenner’s similar photo a few days earlier.

Apparently, what women do in their own back gardens on a sunny afternoon now warrants hundreds of words of scrutiny because we’re supposed to care for some reason, and I know we’re all waiting with baited breath to work out what the hell that reason is.

Have we all been sunbathing wrong? Is there an organisation we should contact first before venturing outside on a sunny day? Do we need to obtain permits in case we cause some kind of social collapse by lying down in the garden?

Thus a survey is wholly necessary when such a staggeringly unusual event takes place, so –

Is women sunbathing naked:

a) ‘classic break up behaviour’

b) indicative of psychological turmoil

c) absolutely none of anybody business and who the hell actually cares why is this news

Vote now – the future of the summer hangs in the balance.