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Farage to slash crime by legalising racism
In a bold new strategy to tackle Britain’s crime statistics, Nigel Farage has pledged to ...
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Trump Crowns Himself World Leader with Stolen Chelsea Cup
In an unexpected twist following Chelsea’s latest trophy win — which, to be clear, was ...
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Summer strike season returns as Europe decides it wants a holiday too
Summer is here, the sun is (allegedly) out in Britain, and half the country is ...
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Israel Urges World to Stop Others From Doing Exactly What Israel Does
In an urgent plea this week, Israel called on the entire international community to take ...
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Putin Accused of Plotting to Block the Sun, Prompting UK to Panic Over Losing Its 14 Minutes of Annual Sunshine
UK ministers have launched an urgent investigation into fears that Vladimir Putin could be plotting ...
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A Guide for the Ethnically & Culturally Diverse Visiting Trump’s America
With President Donald Trump’s latest executive order banning citizens from a dozen nations—on what appears ...
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British Media Loses Plot as Mummy Pig Delivers Baby Girl at Lindo Wing
In an announcement that has stunned royal biographers, Mummy Pig and Daddy Pig announced the ...
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New Miracle Anti-Obesity Drug Solves All Diseases and Your Gym Membership Guilt
In a groundbreaking turn of events that’s left gym bros sobbing into their creatine shakes, ...
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UK in Crisis as 23°C “Heatwave” Looms
The UK is in full meltdown mode after temperatures are set to reach a staggering ...
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Spain and Portugal Experience Power Outage, Accidentally Rediscover Meaning of Life
A massive blackout swept across Spain and Portugal, cutting power, internet, and the ever-present hum ...
