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Right-Wing Shocked to Discover NHS Still Functioning Despite Being Run Almost Entirely by “Foreigners”
Far-right commentators across the country issued urgent “wake-up calls” this week after learning that nearly ...
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Experts Confirm ‘Narcissistic Sociopath’ No Longer Sufficient Descriptor After Trump Uses Homicide to Flatter Own Presidency
In what experts are calling the most self-absorbed presidential press release since the time someone ...
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Putin Reveals New List of Countries to Target After Intense, High-Level Dart Game on Kremlin Wall Map
Declaring it “the most scientifically accurate military strategy Russia has conceived since that time someone ...
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Retailers launch Trillionaire’s Tuesday to follow Black Friday
Following the frenzy of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, retailers are pleased to announce the ...
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Union Flag Exhibition Cancelled After Officials Realize Flags Are, In Fact, Flag-Shaped
In a decisive effort to safeguard the public from dangerous implications of rectangular fabric, Brighton ...
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Home Depot Apologises After $58 Plastic Applique Accidentally Becomes Official White House Architectural Style
President Donald Trump has angrily dismissed rumours that the new golden flourishes in the Oval ...
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Trump Threatens to Sue BBC for $1 Billion Over ‘Misleading Claims’
Donald Trump has announced plans to sue the BBC for $1 billion, accusing the broadcaster ...
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Britain Celebrates By Blowing Things Up to Remember That Time Someone Didn’t
Across the United Kingdom, millions are gearing up for the annual November tradition of gathering ...
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Trump Builds the Most Modest Room Ever, Leaving Melania Homeless
Declaring it “the most beautiful ballroom ever built,” Donald Trump has announced plans to name ...
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Louvre Heist Sends Mona Lisa and Friends Into Existential Panic
In what authorities are calling “the most polite robbery in history,” thieves waltzed into the ...
