Katy Perry Announces Mission to Space, Says She Needs “More Room for Her Aura”

In a move that has left both NASA and the spiritual wellness community stunned, pop singer and intergalactic attention-seeker Katy Perry announced today that she will be the first celebrity to launch herself into space “purely for vibes.”

“Earth was getting kinda mid,” Perry said during a press conference held on a glitter-covered launch pad at Kennedy Space Center. “I need somewhere my aura can stretch its legs, you know? Plus, Mercury is always in retrograde down here.”

NASA officials, visibly shaken, confirmed the mission will be the most expensive and least scientifically useful voyage in human history.

“She insisted on replacing the oxygen tanks with diffusers full of moon water,” said lead engineer Dana Marcus, rubbing her temples. “Also, she wants the shuttle to play ‘Firework’ on loop as she ascends. At this point, we’re just holding on for dear life.”

Sources say the pop star will travel aboard a specially modified SpaceX shuttle, which has been retrofitted with a 24-hour glam squad, a zero-gravity stage for impromptu choreography, and a cryogenic chamber for her collection of edible glitter. Elon Musk reportedly agreed to the venture after Perry promised to name a star after him, her dog, and “the concept of whimsy.”

When asked about the scientific goals of the mission, Perry replied, “I’m going up there to sing to the universe. If aliens hear me and come to Earth, well, that’s just a bonus meet-and-greet.”