Riots or terrible tourism? Foreign countries issue travel warning to England

In a shocking turn of events, several foreign countries have issued travel warnings for England, citing not only the ongoing riots but also the quality of its bleak tourist attractions. As violent clashes continue to erupt across major cities, the global community has decided that while England’s streets are filled with chaos, its attractions are definitely not be worth the trouble either.

“We urge our citizens to avoid traveling to England at this time,” said a spokesperson for the French Foreign Ministry. “It’s not just the risk of getting caught up in a riot. It’s also the risk of spending 20 quid to look at a big clock that doesn’t even chime on time.”

Germany quickly followed suit, releasing a statement advising their citizens to “reconsider” visiting England, not just because of the risk of getting hit by a stray rock, but because, rocks are pretty much all it has to offer. “Have you seen Stonehenge? No? Don’t bother.”

In the United States, the State Department updated its travel advisory to reflect the current situation. “Americans should be aware of the ongoing civil unrest in England,” the advisory read. “But also, let’s be real, if you’ve seen one riot, you’ve seen them all.”

In a rare display of unity, countries from around the world seem to agree on one thing: while England might eventually calm down, it will still be England. And for many, it’s not just the riots that are reason enough to stay away.