Workplace Secret Santa confirms no one knows – or cares – about your name

Employees around the country are once again learning that not only do the people they see every day not give a damn about them, but that after all these years, they still haven’t bothered to learn their name.

As if being given a completely useless present by someone you’re forced to see more than your own family that you had to pretend to be grateful for wasn’t bad enough.

In the lead up to Christmas, workers across the country are also discovering the purpose of Secret Santa is to highlight just how little impact they have made on their colleagues, and their jobs.

Imogen Phillips said, “I have to sit in the same room for hours at a time with these people, walk past them day in, day out. Not only have they not bothered but they also don’t give a toss about anything I say outside of ‘the numbers’.”

Monica, or maybe Mandy, said, “Someone gave me a box of Ferrero Rocher despite saying countless times I’m allergic to nuts – and after the time I had an allergic reaction in a meeting.”

“All this really is is a way to say, ‘I have no idea who you are, and everything you’ve done all year is completely pointless’. It’s such a great feeling.”

So it seems that despite Christmas being a time of ‘cheer’ and ‘glad tidings’, at the end of the day, having to spend time with colleagues is hard enough without having to feign interest in their lives too.

Perhaps 2023 will see the end to Secret Santa because nobody can really be arsed.

“Jim got me this? Is he the one with the annoying laugh or the one who talks about when he lived in Tanzania all the time? Oh, honestly, who gives a f**k, get me out of here.”