This Christmas, show the people you say you love how much you don’t

Ah, love. That ineffable, sacred bond between two souls—ort he perfect excuse to act like a passive-aggressive menace. Why express affection with a heartfelt “I love you” when you could shove an unsolicited lasagna down someone’s throat or mock their choice of footwear? Truly, romance in the 21st century has reached its apex.

The article’s premise is simple: love isn’t about clear communication or mutual respect. No, it’s about creative chaos! Ridicule your partner to show them you care. Forget words—why not ignore their existence entirely? Because nothing screams devotion like pointed silence during dinner.

Apparently, this hot take on affection rebrands neglect as nuance. Why bother with outdated rituals like hugs or quality time when a well-timed roast about their terrible karaoke skills can spark the same magic? According to this gospel of backhanded affection, love thrives in the uncomfortable limbo between “did they mean that?” and “are they angry or just quirky?”

Are we destined for future essays like, “Why Open the Door When You Could Lock It and Laugh?” or “Forget Birthdays—Celebrate Love by Forgetting They Exist”?

If love is truly a battlefield, this article insists we charge into it armed with sarcasm, indifference, and an overstuffed casserole dish. Romantic.