Teenagers defeat Time itself after not being able to read it

In a groundbreaking victory against the tyranny of ticking hands, schools have begun removing analogue clocks from examination halls because today’s teenagers simply cannot read them. Generations of human civilization spent perfecting timekeeping, only for it to be outwitted by a group of 16-year-olds armed with smartphones and an aversion to anything not displayed in a digital format.

The struggle was real—after all, why should young minds, already burdened by the horrors of algebra and Shakespeare, also suffer the injustice of deciphering a clock face?

One head teacher reportedly described the move as a response to “a generation accustomed to digital devices.” Which is, of course, the most logical conclusion. Rather than teaching students an essential life skill in under five minutes, the only sensible course of action was to remove all evidence that time ever existed in such an outdated form.

The implications of this revolutionary decision are vast. Will driving tests now feature only digital speedometers? Will traditional wristwatches be outlawed? Will Big Ben itself be replaced with a giant LED screen flashing the time in bold, friendly numbers?

One thing is certain: future historians will look back on this moment as the day mankind finally surrendered to technology. Or, at the very least, as the day schools decided that reading a clock was simply too much to ask.