Numbers – and words – are misogynistic racists

A maths professor took to Twitter, the agreement forum of ‘say whatever the hell you like for validation  – the angrier the better’, claiming that 2 + 2 = 4 “reeks of white supremacist patriarchy”. No, really.

Mathematics is therefore inherently racist, and by simply counting at all, you too are upholding white social constructs. Have a phone number? Racist. ave Have ighjrsdfjghjkdsfjkhdfghjkA numbered address? Racist. Think 2 + 2 = 4? Racist. It could be 5. It could be anything you want. Any calculation between any two numbers should equal anything since we’re literally talking about equality, rendering numbers entirely meaningless.

A more logical line of argument would be that numbers couldn’t possibly be racist, or anything at all other than what they are since maths is a numerical pattern of neutrality. But through the arena of moral grandstanding, there is no room for logic and reason – even if you’re entire subject field is defined and upheld by both. Data, however, can be biased. But that wasn’t the argument.

If only there was a formula to make it make sense, and calculate whether or not this is a parody. Understanding the patterns in and of the world has always existed – maths wasn’t ‘invented’, merely discovered, proven and communicated. So, perhaps communication is racist?

Funny you should say that. While there are undoubtedly racist words, phraseology and forms of communication, grammar itself surely couldn’t be a patriarchal advocate for racism, right?

Wrong.

Proper grammar is racist too, one university declared, stating it would “limit emphasis on grammar” and instead “[encourage] students to develop a critical awareness of the variety of choices available to them [with] regard to micro-level issues in order to empower them and equip them to push against biases based on ‘written’ accents.”

Basically, if you’re from a multilingual or minority background, there is an assumption that you can’t understand correct grammar or write academic papers in English so…don’t worry about it. Which is definitely not racist either, obviously. (Does anyone in the English department have the definition for irony?)

So there you have it. Grammar is racist, and counting the number of ways incorrect grammar is used is sexist. Not the people that use them in those ways, no. The very things themselves – and they must be abolished. And much like the absence of both would make communicating with each other utterly absurd, nothing makes sense anymore.