Man dresses in normal clothes for Halloween because life is terrifying enough

Instead of attending any spooky celebrations, one man decided that the most terrifying thing he could possibly be was himself.

“The stories I have – the things I’ve seen. We’re still in the start of the 21st century, and have already faced a plague, the threat of world war 3, and I can’t afford avocados anymore.”

When asked if it was a protest, he explained that insisting to continue and put up with the world’s bullshit was enough of a protest.

“I have nothing against Halloween. But really, we’re already living in the scariest times the world has ever seen. Every day. You think ghosts and goblins are going to scare me at this point? I live with my mother in law and the Tories are still in power, for hell’s sake. I wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to privatise the bloody day.”

As with most holidays in America, Halloween is more overtly celebrated and a bigger deal.

Thankfully, here in the UK, Steve is keeping things grounded and normally hellish, opting for a this-pub-or-that-pub approach to trick-or-treating, and waiting for everybody to calm down and stop making everything smell and taste like pumpkins so he can go back to his familiar spiceless state of catatonic dread that we have all grown so accustomed to.