Beachfront visitors appalled at presence of grass

Visitors to Weymouth beach have been heartbroken to discover that nature takes its own course.

One disgruntled visitor felt so disappointed by her visit, now entirely spoiled by nature, that she wrote to the Dorset echo, saying, “I would like to know if anyone else is appalled by the state of Weymouth beach at the pier bandstand end.”

A subsequent argument ensued about whether or not the grass had always been there, with tourists going to head to head with residents, claiming that there simply used to be pebbles covered in sand, making the grass a violent invader.

People have been struggling to get to the sea at Weymouth for years now, confused and prevented by the ongoing assault of grass against holiday-goers, leaving people with no choice but to walk around it! Recounting these traumatic experiences, many defended the right to cut all grass, pointing out that it is not a legal violation against the environment and therefore ought to be done.

Others were so utterly appalled to discover that grass grows wherever they hell it likes, as it ought to know better than to sprout freely in tourist sites. Grass, after all, is a terrible eyesore that has been ruining holidays the world over for centuries, and suggested that all grass ought to be cut down if not removed from the Earth entirely. That ought to quash the Weymouth grass rebellion!

I fear for the day these outraged visitors discover forests, where trees and entire species of wildlife are left to grow wherever they like and without human supervision…