Union Flag Exhibition Cancelled After Officials Realize Flags Are, In Fact, Flag-Shaped

In a decisive effort to safeguard the public from dangerous implications of rectangular fabric, Brighton and Hove City Council has cancelled an exhibition of Union Flags after determining that celebrating diversity is simply too politically volatile for a library – an environment traditionally reserved for the far safer activity of reading.

Bella Sankey, council leader and emerging connoisseur of threat assessments involving cloth, defended the decision. “Our libraries are sanctuary,” she said, “which means we offer a safe space free from political statements and controversy. We cannot rule out the possibility that someone might glance at a flag and have a thought.”

An email to the stunned artist – who reportedly assumed flags were still legal – council officials explained: “We cannot rule out the possibility that a flag might be taken out of artistic context and, worst of all, interpreted. There is a real risk that someone might walk past without reading the signage and believe the library is promoting the existence of the United Kingdom.”

“Visitors could be at risk,” the email concluded, though it did not specify the nature of the danger. Experts speculate possible outcomes ranging from mild confusion about shapes to an uncontrollable urge to check out a book.

The council offered the artist an alternative: a future exhibition of “completely neutral shapes,” pending a full risk assessment to ensure no triangle accidentally resembles the hierarchy.