Patriots who demanded deportation and de-citizenship of all criminals realise maybe it isn’t about immigration at all

In a shocking twist of fate, self-proclaimed British patriots—who have long bellowed for the deportation of “criminals with a spare passport”—are now apparently ready to fight tooth and nail to keep Tommy Robinson in the fold.

Just hours after Mr. Robinson, sporting his Irish passport, was sentenced for his third contempt of court conviction, the rallying cry has mysteriously shifted. Suddenly, the idea of booting out a criminal with dual nationality doesn’t sit quite right.

One vocal citizenship-stripping advocate, who wished to remain anonymous after realising the risk of having his own passport removed, had a change of heart. “Look, I know I’ve gone on endlessly about chucking out repeat offenders with a backup nationality, but that’s when it was… different.”

When asked what made Tommy’s case unique, he explained, “Well, see, Tommy only breaks laws that I’m not a huge fan of. The ones I don’t like, you know, the ones that… restrict him from telling it like it is. Other offenders break laws that I do like, so clearly it’s not the same.”

Meanwhile, those insisting on consistency across the board suggest that maybe, just maybe, it’s time for “Tommy Ten Trials” to fully embrace his Irish side and bid the British passport adieu. After all, fair’s fair… right?